Category: Opinion

Categories
non-fiction Opinion Travel

India Chronicles: #3 – Leaving Home – Chandigarh

There is a restlessness inside the heart of an Indian. Observe them at airports, they will push and swerve to get ahead. They struggle with lines. They will stand before the seat belt sign eliminates. And, they seldom give way, they only butt in. Pardon my stereotype, but my first domestic flight out of Chandigarh unfolded in this manner. And somehow, I had forgotten to be pushy and anxious at the airport.

The airport officials understand this anxiety about Indians. They ask you not to come too early to the airport. Imagine the population explosion of anxieties. They do not start boarding before ten minutes of departure time. Because of the anxieties, magically, the full plane boards with luggage stowed away, seat belts buckled, the door disembarked in less than ten minutes. Calmness moves through slowly. It is only anxiety that propels people to such manic speeds. Maybe, it is in our blood, or in our history or simply in the population of the country. A baby must compete from the time it is born. Scoring well in exams is not a concern for hardworking Indians. It is making it to the top one thousand to land a decent spot in an engineering college (or corresponding college, but engineering and medical will beat the others easily). The anxiety keeps teenagers up at night, shoving fellow classmates at school during the day. Also, Indians do not make one queue. They make ten simultaneous queues. It is a game for the survival of the fittest.

The commotion unfolded as I stood at the end of the queue even though I got up at the first call of boarding with three brats, Ali, and Nana, Nani. We were leaving Punjab and the memories, the smell of ghee in the streets of Amritsar, the smell of mothballs from the sweaters Mama took out from old suitcases which is a smell my kids will forever now associate with Nani, the sight of peacocks en-route to Chandigarh. And the smell of burnt crop.

At home, we chatted, kids played non-stop, and the home was as warm as ever before, as though nothing had changed. When we pulled in to my Bhuiji’s street, it was dark. Sahir said, “This is the best neighborhood I have been to so far.” I replied, “Kiddo, how do you know? It is all dark.” He just knew. Six hours we took to reach Chandigarh, kids kept asking every ten minutes, “Are we there yet?” Their cousins were too strong a wait for them.

And, at the end of it all, it was a hard goodbye for me because this was the end of Punjab and home. I left a part of my heart behind with my aunts who are the pillars of strength and inspiration. Here are a few memories from the experience.

20181226_133609.jpg
All of us!
Nani Bhuiji and Dua
on the way … last dhabha visit
Chandigarh Trivia:

1million+ population. Capital of both Punjab and Haryana. A Union Territory (federal ground). Reported “one of cleanest and the wealthiest city in the nation.” Was designed and developed by Albert Mayer (started until he died in a crash) and completed by Le Corbusier in the mid-nineties following partition.

Title Image Source
Categories
inspiring moral Opinion

You Must First Believe in Yourself

Life has the audacity to bring the strongest to their knees. To be alive is to dream for a better life and be dissatisfied with what you have, isn’t it? Desires propel us forward, sure. But sometimes, they also make us unhappy with what we have without them. Take the professional world, for instance, the corporate world, where merit isn’t always instantly granted with rewards or recognition, it may not be a right place to be in a state of wait for someone else to recognize and give you that promotion. Because I can tell you, recognition of mistakes reaches you much faster than any months and months of arduous work under your belt. The only secret sauce to success is to first believe in yourself. Rest will follow even if it takes a little time and comes to you not in the shape, way, or form you had visualized.

What is self-belief?

Wiki: The concept of self-confidence self-assurance in one’s personal judgment, ability, power, etc.

It is a confidence in your skills, in your future, in your present, in your abilities when all else is failing (or not). When people doubt you or are too busy to notice, self-belief is a state of mind, really, that negates the need for second-hand validation and the belief that the positivity in your heart has and will continue to translate into success, sooner rather than later.

You MUST first believe in yourself because:

  1. Situations change
    The situations that bring us down, pass. The situations that lift us pass as well. What sustains is your opinion about yourself. Do not let that opinion vary by external circumstance because circumstance is fleeting and fickle.
  2. Positive beliefs materialize in positive outcomes
    Your self-belief when situation is tough manifests in the form of calmness in the face of adversity. Positivity is like a rock that keeps you standing sure-footed under hurricane-force winds. It makes your heart happy, your face glow, and people gravitate to such personalities. Success is inevitable for these people because self-belief keeps them contributing positively, and their productivity does not take a hit when life gets them low.
  3. Self-fulfilling prophecy of the negative beliefs
    Take the contrast, for instance, when you doubt yourself, that keeps you quiet in meetings, it can make you turn away because of cynicism. Cynicism that nothing positive will ever change in the world. That results in you giving up. People perceive you differently now as someone who is taking the back seat (maybe because you internalized something external to you). This is the definition of a self-fulfilling prophecy and do not fall in its trap. Snap out of it, catch yourself when cynicism grabs your mind, and say, I am just feeling a little low today. This is not the true me.
  4. Self-belief keeps you from internalizing the negative circumstances
    When you trust in your abilities (you are good at what you do and know how to learn where you fall short) and your external surroundings become negative, maybe, due to a negative person or outcome, the self-belief gives you the wisdom to disassociate yourself from the negativity. It is them, not me.
  5. Self-belief transcends in your belief in others
    We view the world with the same lens we view ourselves with. If we view ourselves as helpless, negative, nothing good ever happens to me, we see others the same way, and when they break this stereotype and get ahead, we burn in envy. Really. How does she always know how to say the right thing and get ahead? This is human nature. View yourself with positivity, and we reestablish your belief in goodness of humankind that good eventually prevails, hard work is rewarded, and if we put our hearts and minds, we get what our hearts desire.
  6. Self-belief teaches patience
    Here is a welcome side-effect of self-belief. It teaches you to wait. When nothing is going per plan, it is that sure voice in the head, that says, hold on, all is well. When all else is failing and failure is long and dreary, it is that therapy that keeps on whispering, keep going–wake up, take a deep breath, and give it your best, just one more day at a time. Sometimes, that is all that is needed. Sure, there are instances when doing the same things, will not yield different results. We need to pivot. While pivoting, self-belief gives you the patience to wait for the results from the pivot.

 

Finally, self- belief can be cultivated. It is not an entity we are born with or have lost because of a harsh childhood, or a similar trauma. The voice that guides you can be cultivated mindfully by changing a few habits of the mind and body.

Sometimes, all that is needed, is a razor-sharp focus on your strengths. Use your strengths. And, everybody has weaknesses. That is not your forte alone. Here are a few things that can be done to nurture self-belief:

  1. When negative voice rears its head
    Tell yourself, “This is not my true voice.” Simple. Ignore or challenge it. Prove it wrong. Be your own motivational coach. Make a list of things that make you happy, do them. Daily.
  2. Flip a weakness into strength
    Do not let your negative voice come in the way of self-improvement. While taking a class can fix a learning gap, sometimes weaknesses are soft traits. Those too can be channeled—stubbornness into mindful determination, anger into purpose and passion, sadness into a creative outlet, dissatisfaction into a drive. Get where I am going with this?
  3. Develop your Super Powers / Hero Training
    On a piece of paper write the name of a super hero(s). It could be your mother or the Hulk, does not matter who. Then write down what traits make them a super hero. Think about what each positive trait means to you. Prime your subconscious mind.
    When dealing with a difficult situation, what would your super hero do?
  4. Create a powerful vision of yourself
    Let nothing else blur the image you have of yourself. Self-belief is not arrogance or narcissism but simply tools by which you can self-improve and become the more positive self.

 

Attribution – Mark Tyrell

 

 

Categories
non-fiction Opinion

It is Okay to Cry Out Loud

My two-year-old had a particularly rough Monday.

First, in the wee hours of the morning, it is raining and dark. He is in his school clothes, strapped in his car seat. In front of his daycare, we find out the daycare is closed forcing me to take a day off work.

At home, he and I stare at each other’s face with confusion on what we should do with one other.

The first response from a distracted parent…

I turn the TV on, snuggling with him in bed as I flip open the lid of my laptop. Ten minutes later, he is tired.

“Mama, turn the TV off.”

I look at him like, “dude, what is wrong with you?” I do not allow screen time and here, I have opened the floodgates to it, enjoy!

I turn the TV off. We stare at one another. He pulls on my hand. He is leading me down the stairs. He wants to start this day that refused to begin with the school closure.

I call the gym. They have a play area where the caretakers are well familiar with him and he with them. It would provide the outlet the little guy needs. They have room. Yay!

My boy and I ride in my aging mini-van to the gym. He is the happiest I have seen in the day. An hour later, I return dripping in sweat. My lemonade (from the lemon life threw at us)!

He is waiting for me. The caretaker says, “He was just not the same without his older brother and sister (who are at school,) and just waited for you to return.”

We come back home and the garage door refuses to open. I reach for my keys, and the home key is missing on my key chain. I circle the home to see if my carelessness would pay off with an open door. Nope.

My boy waits patiently as I try for another fifteen minutes for the garage door to open. The garage door tends to stick and not open on rainy days. I struggle with it.

After a half hour, a memory returns to me. I had taken the key off while getting my car serviced. Five minutes later, I feel it buried in my purse. I hop out in joy. Open the front door. I am in my home, at last.

I walk to the garage and press the garage button from inside. It refuses to budge. Then, I realize what happened.

In America, where only massive storms force the power out, there is no power in my home on this sunny day. I am shocked. I go back to the front door where a neighbor is walking his dog.

He confirms he is without power too. Anyway, my boy and I are at least inside our own home.

I heat his lunch on the stove instead of the micro. He eats it silently. The only fuss he is making is not leaving me alone, even for a second. Not playing. Not doing anything fun. Just silent.

Moments later, he rises with his water cup to the water dispenser. Presses the down button and there is no water.

And, the calm and composed baby of mine, slaps the cup to the floor and bursts out crying!

I hold him and explain to him that we have no power and hence, no water. He leaves the rest of his food untouched and goes to bed.

The light comes back in an hour when I shower after my sweaty workout from the morning. But, to my little one, I must say…it is okay to be calm. But when life slides down a slippery slope and nothing seems right, it is okay to cry it out too. Be human.

Here is to the comfort of electricity we enjoy in the US! And the ability to cry out loud on rough days.

 

Categories
Opinion Tech

When Agile Hurts

I am an Agile Coach. I believe in the tenets of Agile and am sold on its value. I enable others to be Agile. However, due to misconceptions and bad applications of Agile, examples are plenty when Agile has hurt where it was meant to help.

One of the contrasts of Agile and Waterfall, is in the amount of documentation. Agile has taken the Use Case documents, the architectural and technical detail design documents and scattered the plethora of information into series of user stories. A user story is a tangible unit of work resulting in user delight in the form of a new capability. It takes user pain away in a meaningful way even if it is a small functionality such as radiating the status of an application throughout the process (on a website).

david-travis-554904-unsplash

The detailed requirement documents of waterfall take months in which timeframe paradigms supporting the requirement change. It is the reason why in Agile, we make requirements golden at the “Last Responsible Moment” in smaller, bit-size chunks. All this works wonderful in theory. In application if not done right, the machine breaks down. Listed below are Agile process smells or pitfalls hurting teams because of improper application or misunderstanding of the practice.

Vertical Slices of work in Siloed Component-Based Model

I repeat, “a user story is a slice of work resulting in user delight.” User could care less there are ten APIs to be built or which technical framework programmers must use. User only concerns in the capabilities they wish to receive from the product. Does the word processor I am using allow me to type my blog and share it in one click?

All good so far. It is the reason why we create stories vertically to focus on the impact to the end customer. This good intention gets punished in an organization fostering experts in niche skills instead of full stack developers. Let me rephrase. When software teams are built around key types of skills, the web service team, the front-end team building the UI, the database team, the Java team, the SQL team, the JS team…there is an awful number of handoffs, and consequently, waste in the system. This model produces experts in the field (DB guy, network gal…) with idea that experts will take requirements and deliver them in a mighty pace. It is a gain received at the risk of self-created silos. When the developed experts leave, they take with them their knowledge that should have been spread around to begin with.

So, in these organizations with horizontal teams a vertical backlog (for the end customer) results in stories with large cycle time (because teams need to wait for “the other guy” to commit, finish and deliver before they can). Large cycle times equal large feedback loops. Large feedback loops result in potential missed opportunities of improving fast and pivoting. Sometimes, it is okay. A lot of time, not. A vertical backlog for such an organization is dragging the horse to the well, but horse will not drink until all its buddy horses arrive.

Reduced documentation = no documentation

Delivering potentially shippable software in two-weeks cadence can be mind-boggling and chaotic (until it becomes muscle memory). Sometimes in the whirlwind of it all, hallway conversations take the place where key decisions on a user story are made. Agile is big on co-location and hallway collaborations, let me be transparent. Synergy existing in people eating together, coding together, storming together, and getting back together is priceless. But a hierarchal organizational structure with borders, requires alignment of understanding across those borders. For example, most large organizations have a separate end-to-end testing teams. When a user story is committed to be worked upon does the PO or the developer on the team or the end-to-end tester, do all of these cross-functional units perceive the requirement with one lens? Are all of them included in these hallway conversations? Same argument for distributed teams.

In the waterfall world, I can confidently say the documentation is organic because it is instituted and reviewed multiple times. So, where its drawback lies in the lack of speed to respond to change, the pro is requirements when well-written are clearly understood and prescriptive. Can it hinder innovation from the techies? Sure. But the business knows what it wants and has taken the pain to write it out in great detail.

So, beware that becoming Agile does not mean compromising on the quality of documentation. It simply changes when you are focused on refining what.

Anyone can write a user story

I have coaches highlight the bottleneck (waste) in the system in numerous Agile trainings. Look, if you wait on one gal, the product owner, to finish writing all your user stories for a team of 8 developers, then you may go slower.

So, the whole team should be trained on writing user stories. The whole team should be trained and empowered to write user stories. However, there are pitfalls here to watch for.

Too many cooks spoil the stew. Or a clear voice missing in the product, or have you heard of the bystander effect? When lots of people are standing and witnessing the same wrong, everyone thinks someone else will act, not me. End result, no one responds. Everyone thinks everyone/others can write stories, so not me. I have seen this one too many times.

So, I differ from my fellow agilists in this advice. I feel Product Owner should have a clear, crisp vision. The vision needs to be disseminated from the PO to the teams in how features are broken into stories and what each story entails. However, the PO should not limit the innovation of the team and encourage questions and collaboration to improve the requirements and embody the whole team spirit. If the PO is absent, the team should feel self-sufficient to step in, but the team writing the stories does not replace the vision guiding the product.

Because when the PO takes the back seat and depends on the team to self-organize in creating and writing their own stories, result is never good, I assure you.

Acceptance criterion can change mid-sprint

Agile puts processes in place enabling the team to respond to change and incorporate customer feedback, etc. However, the last responsible moment as a rule for acceptance criterion formulation is ahead of the sprint start, period. Changes mid-sprint should be exceptions and not the norm. It is unfair to accept the development team to pivot with their heads spinning round the clock. The stability is desired within the sprint.

 

All these problems are experienced when Agile is misunderstood or a sentiment is abused to an extreme end. I am sorry to inform that Agile is not a cure all for the documentation. It does not mean crappy or no documentation. We are still obligated to do a top-notch job. Nothing changes there no matter the methodology.

Featured Photo by Tom Pumford on Unsplash; Inline Photo by David Travis on Unsplash

Categories
non-fiction Opinion writing

When Fireworks Light the Sky

At the #10mincon, word got around that fireworks will light the sky if the Reds win the game. But when the fireworks crackled over the John A Roeblin Suspension Bridge, we were no longer sure if Reds won the game or not. We certainly had won. That was clear.

For greater part of my life, I remained away from Facebook. Because the people I loved were right in front of my eyes. In 2015, I violated my cardinal rule and joined Facebook with solitary intention of meeting fellow writers like me, better writers than me.

And, here I was. The year was 2018.

Irony called my life happened.

While three of my books collected electronic dust itching to smell paper of a bound book, I attended my very first writers conference, #10mincon, organized by a Facebook group called #10minutenovelists (founded by Katherine Grubb)  🙂

That morning, I kissed goodbyes to my little ones, and off I went on vacation (from all the joys of parenthood) to Covington, KY. It was a happy journey clouded by a nightmare from the night before where I was unable to hand out business cards to a single person in the entire conference. Studded amidst the rolling green hills, appeared Cincinnati, Ohio separated from Kentucky by Ohio River. I bridged the distance from Ohio to Kentucky in a minute to arrive at the Embassy Suites hotel.

IMG_9792

What followed was unprecedented. I met people who were just like me, eager to mingle and eager to share their knowledge. But I did not know that when I arrived.

When I first entered the room, I carried in me a lonely heart of a mother who missed the laughter of her little ones and stared at the countless heads of strangers from the back of the room. I found an empty row when Pam Humphrey and Glenda Thompson signaled me to join them instead.

IMG_9754

With Glenda and Pam

The lectures that followed from Katherine Grubb, James Scott Bell, Donald Maass, and Janice Hardy require thought and many more blogs to capture. It was intense, and it was worth every penny I spent to get there.

I would like to thank the entire team of #10mincon who made it possible, who put their heart in every little detail from inspiring speeches to getting the highest quality speakers to us to the boxed lunch souvenirs on the day of the departure.

I even won a free book from my new friend, Pam Humphrey called the Blue Rebozo! Not a coincidence.

Fireworks crackled that night befitting the emotions of all present in the conference. It was not an end but a new beginning.

I returned richer, bolder and purposeful. Not only did I bring back new lessons but new friends as well who had shared personal stories over the span of two days.IMG_9782With my new writer friends (Gretchen Grey-Hatton next to me) and Donald Maass –  the author that first inspired and influenced my writing through the “Breakout Novelist” book.

To the 10 Minute Novelist team, Bravo!

Categories
non-fiction Opinion Tech

Journey Beyond the Headlights

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a teacher. Teacher craze lasted a few years. When teenage acne took over, I had a distant family friend visit us from the United States. She had an eclectic selection of high-heeled shoes my sheltered eyes had ever laid eyes on. And, she told heroic tales of her experiences being a detective. So, I wanted to be a detective. So, as my wants blended with the winds and went place to place, I too floated from a small town in rural Punjab to a small Midwestern town in the US. Destiny winds continued to sway me around. I found myself in a high-rise in Downtown Chicago in 2007, at Buc, France giving Agile training in 2015, and last summer, I joined Allstate in Chicago land as a Program Manager.

One thing is same in my aged heart from the one that beat in me as a child – desire to get better, anxiety to succeed in life and in career. The burning desire had me chasing “the road less traveled” or simply “the road I wished to travel on.”

I recently changed roles for the third time, I must say, within Allstate in my first year itself. Blame the burning desire inside me that is waiting for the right winds to propel me because all I can see is as far as the headlights of my near vision.

What do I do? I am an Agile Coach, I change people’s behaviors for a living. May I say, I do the same at home as a mother. Beyond the headlights, only lies the ashes from my desire of where I want to go and where I want to be.

For now, I am teaching myself a lesson I have applied all my life. Do the best you can. Give the best you can. And, worry not for the rest. Let’s roll!

Categories
inspiring moral non-fiction Opinion

Ten Ways to Break a Predictable Routine

Habits make us, shape us, keep us grounded. We follow same routes to work relishing the comfort in the familiarity of repetitions.

But have you ever pondered what makes a vacation so special?

It is the ultimate reset of routines.

But why wait for a vacation to gain a reset. Daily, there are opportunities to do precisely what a vacation gives you. Try these ten ways to break that routine and have the vacation experience right where you are, doing exactly what you do.

  1. Go where the tourists go
    Take that boat tour. Go visit the local museums. Suspend your legs in a lake and watch the ducks float by. Take a picture like a memory keeper of unusual things. That is what tourists do what we do not in day to day. Go to city center, people watch.
  1. Do something you are afraid of
    Break your comfort zones, be it in applying for a more challenging role at work, signing up for a marathon, march for something you believe in. When opportunity knocks on your door and you start to wonder how you would juggle things around or learn a new skill, say yes. Learn that new skill.

    Can’t think of anything? Go Bungee Jumping or Sky Diving.

  1. Eat at a new restaurant
    Drive to a new restaurant at least once a week. Eaten at all around? Try a new dish or venture beyond your normal miles. Go on a culinary tour – like ice cream shops, coffee shops, frozen yogurt, French bakeries, Greek restaurants…what ever culinary outlet your neighborhood allows. Do not hesitate to expand the boundary in which you normally eat.
  1. Cook a new recipe
    Cooking is cathartic but cooking in a short amount of time because you must, is a chore. Break that chore by trying a new recipe just for the fun of it.
  1. Take a new route to work
    Auto pilot is great. But the awareness you possess while sitting over a giant canyon observing each contour, each hew of sunlight is worth tapping by breaking auto pilot on any given day.

    Once I took a back road to work because of traffic and the smell of wild spring flowers is still a fresh memory years later. New routes take you out of auto-pilot, force you to notice views we innocently glance over.

  1. Watch at least one sunrise and a sunset
    Instead of waking up at the same time, rise with an alarm on a clear day to just watch the sunrise and do nothing else.
  1. Read a book for the fun of it
    There is solitude in your outer world as you submerge yourself in a book. But your inner world bubbles with the contents of the book. Sometimes, you must dive into another world to escape your own just like watching a movie, and book is the perfect medium.
  1. Celebrate the little treasures
    Why wait for a birthday to celebrate? Celebrate the little things – like when you did something you were afraid of, or you cooked a new dish. In the little celebrations breathes life.
  1. Write a Journal
     Write in your journal. After all, if you have reached number 9 of my blog, you have already altered your life. If you have altered your life, chances are there is lot of emotions inside of the new sights and sounds you have heard. Write.
  2. Take a hike
    Tourists hike. Some active people do. But even if you are a couch potato like me, get outside, find a scenic trail and get on it. Do not walk to get your step count in. Walk to gain a new experience.

 

So, pause and think of all the routines you have grown to be comfortable in. Break them. It will alter your attitude and open new doors of opportunity, I promise.

Categories
non-fiction Opinion

Summers are Difficult Time for Working Parents

To be exact, 82 days, two and a half months of interruption equals a summer break.

But who is counting?

I am.

I am a working mother, and with both of us, husband and wife, who do not share the break with their children, summer throws new dodge balls on an already packed schedule. Summer is a uniquely busy time for working parents. Here is why.

 

Change in schedule

Clockwork schedules are not just for newborns. Adults too are slaves to habits.  Summer requires adapting to new drop-off locations with new times and rules. New habits form as old ones are broken, and that can challenge an already busy routine.

 

Camp locations can be inconvenient

Sometimes, the best camps aren’t the ones near your home unlike the public (or private) schools. Nonetheless, not just adding on to the already long commute (for those like me with a forty-five-minute normal commute), it is also now having to remember the new routes. You can no longer rely on auto-pilot wiring to get to the same places daily. And, as soon as you adjust to the new routine, summer is over.

 

The uncertainty

Picking the right camp is step number one. A lot can go wrong from the camp selection to living life in the new camp. Do the activities appeal to kids in reality as it did on paper? Does the camp provide the right outlet for the energies little ones burst in? Will they meet nice people? Will they get along?

Often times than not, a child comes home with a fight (especially for my rough and tumble boy). That is followed by lots of tossing and turning in the sleep at night, what to do, and what not to do.

 

All weeks of summer are not created equal

When all the loose pieces of the summer puzzle fit – the people fit, the work fits, the commute fits … wait, there is another dodge ball.

Summer weeks are created unequal. June is summer school (half days, four days a week). And, rest of the summer are full-time camp – this is true for my situation but will vary from district to district, home to home, decision to decision.

Two weeks could go problem-free and in the next cycle enters, say swimming – chlorine filled, dry unmanageable hair, sun burnt skin and their companion, tears.

 

Not to mention, THE HOMEWORK

Research has shown that complete interruption in academics has adverse effect on their scores and abilities. So, schools such as mine have not only offered part time summer school (awesome offering) but also sent books worth of homework. What about my plan for home work for my child over summer?

Our elementary school excels in acknowledging that children need to be children. So, they have no homework policy during the school year, a joy because I can choose an activity for our evenings – a music lesson or simply cuddling and sharing tales from our day. Summer is an exception and quite possibly, the antagonist to that policy.

 

More work in each day – lunch and accessories needed

In the academic year, on any given day, I can ask my kids to get lunch from the cafeteria. All I have to worry about are the funds on their lunch card, an act I can complete from my desk or bed with a click of a button. Not true for a lot of summer camps.

Lunch and healthy snacks are not the only extra items to pack. Washed swimming costumes and towels on swimming days, tennis rackets on tennis days, sunscreen, mosquito repellents, and extra snacks for field trip days. No biggie but another complexity and new routine to incorporate in already full days.

 

Camps do not cover entire summer

Camps end a few days to a week before the start of the academic year to give their staff a break, I suppose. Parents that have planned well, may have a vacation planned ahead of time and those like me who do not have that extra vacation, hunt for a nanny or alternative for the week. One such week I spent with the nanny calling me every twenty minutes in tears, “Your daughter is crying again, miss. She won’t listen to me.”

 

Here is to another summer, to change, and to living life in general.

Categories
non-fiction Opinion Travel

Drowning in a Vacation and Coming up Whole

Lake Patoka

I woke this morning with my daughter already snuggled in bed with me. That was unusual in my household where my babies cherished their spaces, their beds, their rooms. They only snuggled with me wide awake with twinkles in their eyes and love dripping from their hearts.

She was burning hot. As I contemplated dragging myself out to get her medicine, loud shrieks of my littlest made my body shoot up, and I sprinted to his room. He was hotter than my daughter. He clung on to me with a ferocity I did not know existed in the world. I glanced out the window momentarily and realized the tropical storm had flooded my entire driveway. More rain was due later in the day.

A deep sigh. Lots of positive thoughts therapy later, I thought about what I was doing at all other times of my life other than now. Last year this time, I was preparing for Alaska. That is what I needed, a vacation. I needed one desperately. But my vacation days were going into days like this – sick days, school volunteer days, and the little time that was left was reserved for Writer’s Conferences I had cherry picked to attend later in the year.

Life, what can I say.

Last Friday, I was feeling exactly the same way, exhausted, overwhelmed and hungry for a break even though my kids were fever-free. But not just that, I had dropped the potty-training plans for my two-year-old over the long weekend on an idea – idea to get away and find vacation getaways in my stereotypical mind, the blandest of all united states, Indiana, the neighboring state, also the state we had business to take care of. So hungry was I for a getaway, that I found the little slivers of Indiana that were not the same old flat lands interrupted intermittently by windmills, and we headed out.

Vacation unfolded.

Post breakfast, kids smelled the aroma of my nail paint as I painted my hand and toe nails with Dua drooling over the nail paint. It was vacation so I got up and painted her hands next, and she emitted her sputtering laughter. I had just finished coating the last pinky nail when Mir, my two-year-old, erupted, “Mamma, see!”

Outside his window was a giant windmill. The next ten minutes were spent with, “Mamma, see!” and lots of laughter.

That evening we soaked our feet in Cataract Falls and sat down listening to the water thundering down giant boulders. Cataract Falls were Indiana’s biggest waterfalls, and the hungry discovered it.

Next morning, we visited a dam with ferocious, growling, water-sprayer river, the Hoosier National forest where kids bathed in a natural lake in the sweltering ninety degrees hot summer-like day.

Lake Patoka
Hoosier National Forest

We ate ice cream from French Licks ice cream cum coffee shop in the town called, “French Lick.” Yah, I thought the same thought when I heard the name, but the town itself was a little slice of culture, hilly and our waterpark resort was atop its own mountain where kids were uncontrolled with a dose of hysteria and laughter that evening and the next morning.

We returned this past Monday. Thursday is here with sick, hot babies, and I am thirsty for a vacation already. So once again, I can unwind, interrupt my routine, forget my worries, and escape from my realities even if for a week at a time.

Until next time, these words will suffice to relive and remember – another time, a less-stressful time.

 

 

 

Categories
non-fiction Opinion

Memorial Day Gratitudes

“Hey, do you want to go the Memorial Day Parade tomorrow?  It starts at 9:30 a.m.  We could get our yard work done instead.   The forecast is for temperatures in the 90’s starting late morning, and we could start it while the weather is still cool,” said my husband, Mark, in a hopeful voice as he sat across from me in his living room lounge chair.

My head jerked up from my book.  “Of course, I want to go,” I said, an incredulous look on my face.  “We have to go!  It’s not even a discussion.”

Mark recovered from his transgression with a smile and a shake of his head at the reminder, once again, how important the parade was to me.

The next morning found us along the parade route in our northwest suburb of Chicago.  We clapped as the vets marched past, many walking, the older ones’ riding in cars.  We waved at the sea of scout troops and village organizations, along with the politicians always looking for voters.  We tapped our feet at the lively music of high school and local community bands.  We both agreed it was a grand parade.

As I stood on the sidewalk and watched the waves of participants, the memories of the enormous Memorial Day parades of my youth in the mid-1950’s flowed back to me.  My dad and uncles had, thankfully, returned home after being overseas as part of the US Military in WWII.  Patriotism was at a high.  We wanted to honor the veterans who in the prime of their life gave up marriage, family, schooling, and careers to go off and as my dad put it, “do our duty.”  There was no question of doing anything else on Memorial Day.  We had to do our duty to thank the vets.

Through the years, I have learned change is always in the air and so it is with Memorial Day.    The holiday has so many meanings to so many people now.   We still, rightfully, honor the vets, but it is also a celebration of the start of summer, a chance to foster the community spirit and feeling of good-will and most importantly, the opportunity for everyone to get together, see their friends and neighbors and enjoy a community event.   What a wonderful occasion.

My dad and uncles have long since passed away, but I know they would have liked the spirit of today’s parade as much as ever.

Originally posted on https://bookofdreams.us  

 

 

 

Follow

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox: