You Must First Believe in Yourself

Life has the audacity to bring the strongest to their knees. To be alive is to dream for a better life and be dissatisfied with what you have, isn’t it? Desires propel us forward, sure. But sometimes, they also make us unhappy with what we have without them. Take the professional world, for instance, the corporate world, where merit isn’t always instantly granted with rewards or recognition, it may not be a right place to be in a state of wait for someone else to recognize and give you that promotion. Because I can tell you, recognition of mistakes reaches you much faster than any months and months of arduous work under your belt. The only secret sauce to success is to first believe in yourself. Rest will follow even if it takes a little time and comes to you not in the shape, way, or form you had visualized.

What is self-belief?

Wiki: The concept of self-confidence self-assurance in one’s personal judgment, ability, power, etc.

It is a confidence in your skills, in your future, in your present, in your abilities when all else is failing (or not). When people doubt you or are too busy to notice, self-belief is a state of mind, really, that negates the need for second-hand validation and the belief that the positivity in your heart has and will continue to translate into success, sooner rather than later.

You MUST first believe in yourself because:

1. Situations change
   The situations that bring us down, pass. The situations that lift us pass as well. What sustains is your opinion about yourself. Do not let that opinion vary by external circumstance because circumstance is fleeting and fickle.
2. Positive beliefs materialize in positive outcomes
   Your self-belief when situation is tough manifests in the form of calmness in the face of adversity. Positivity is like a rock that keeps you standing sure-footed under hurricane-force winds. It makes your heart happy, your face glow, and people gravitate to such personalities. Success is inevitable for these people because self-belief keeps them contributing positively, and their productivity does not take a hit when life gets them low.
3. Self-fulfilling prophecy of the negative beliefs
   Take the contrast, for instance, when you doubt yourself, that keeps you quiet in meetings, it can make you turn away because of cynicism. Cynicism that nothing positive will ever change in the world. That results in you giving up. People perceive you differently now as someone who is taking the back seat (maybe because you internalized something external to you). This is the definition of a self-fulfilling prophecy and do not fall in its trap. Snap out of it, catch yourself when cynicism grabs your mind, and say, I am just feeling a little low today. This is not the true me.
4. Self-belief keeps you from internalizing the negative circumstances
   When you trust in your abilities (you are good at what you do and know how to learn where you fall short) and your external surroundings become negative, maybe, due to a negative person or outcome, the self-belief gives you the wisdom to disassociate yourself from the negativity. It is them, not me.
5. Self-belief transcends in your belief in others
   We view the world with the same lens we view ourselves with. If we view ourselves as helpless, negative, nothing good ever happens to me, we see others the same way, and when they break this stereotype and get ahead, we burn in envy. Really. How does she always know how to say the right thing and get ahead? This is human nature. View yourself with positivity, and we reestablish your belief in goodness of humankind that good eventually prevails, hard work is rewarded, and if we put our hearts and minds, we get what our hearts desire.
6. Self-belief teaches patience
   Here is a welcome side-effect of self-belief. It teaches you to wait. When nothing is going per plan, it is that sure voice in the head, that says, hold on, all is well. When all else is failing and failure is long and dreary, it is that therapy that keeps on whispering, keep going–wake up, take a deep breath, and give it your best, just one more day at a time. Sometimes, that is all that is needed. Sure, there are instances when doing the same things, will not yield different results. We need to pivot. While pivoting, self-belief gives you the patience to wait for the results from the pivot.

 

Finally, self- belief can be cultivated. It is not an entity we are born with or have lost because of a harsh childhood, or a similar trauma. The voice that guides you can be cultivated mindfully by changing a few habits of the mind and body.

Sometimes, all that is needed, is a razor-sharp focus on your strengths. Use your strengths. And, everybody has weaknesses. That is not your forte alone. Here are a few things that can be done to nurture self-belief:

1. When negative voice rears its head
   Tell yourself, “This is not my true voice.” Simple. Ignore or challenge it. Prove it wrong. Be your own motivational coach. Make a list of things that make you happy, do them. Daily.
2. Flip a weakness into strength
   Do not let your negative voice come in the way of self-improvement. While taking a class can fix a learning gap, sometimes weaknesses are soft traits. Those too can be channeled—stubbornness into mindful determination, anger into purpose and passion, sadness into a creative outlet, dissatisfaction into a drive. Get where I am going with this?
3. Develop your Super Powers / Hero Training
   On a piece of paper write the name of a super hero(s). It could be your mother or the Hulk, does not matter who. Then write down what traits make them a super hero. Think about what each positive trait means to you. Prime your subconscious mind.
   When dealing with a difficult situation, what would your super hero do?
4. Create a powerful vision of yourself
   Let nothing else blur the image you have of yourself. Self-belief is not arrogance or narcissism but simply tools by which you can self-improve and become the more positive self.

 

Attribution – Mark Tyrell

 

 

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