opinion - MARS D. GILL Books & Blogs

I know what I want. It is not wasting away on an island doing nothing. That is not my idea of bliss. Keeping my mind occupied is goal number one. A close second is keeping the mind occupied with meaningful work! But after a rough day, all I want is that mango martini on that deserted beach with only the sound of crashing waves. And I wonder to myself, what job is stress free?

What makes a job stressful?

Too Much Work

If work continues to outnumber the time we have in a day, guess what? It is fighting a losing battle. Fatigue is not caused by how much work one accomplishes in a day. Fatigue comes from the amount of work pending. It is exhausting to hit the sack knowing all that is left to do. Even more exhausting is the knowledge that no matter how hard I work, the workload is going to increase disproportionately.

Time away from loved ones

When you love your work beyond words, you do not count hours. More hours you contribute, bigger the joy. But there is a line in the sand. If work keeps you from people you love the most on a routine basis, the balance tilts. When you are away from family a lot, it matters if it is from your own personal choice or your company’s demands.

Feeling of helplessness

If I control my workload, how much and when, wonderful. But when corporations expect employees to problem solve with their hands tied, the feeling that here is nothing I can do to make this problem go away is frustrating and stressful

People People People

Once eating lunch with colleagues, we were exchanging notes on what we wanted to do next in our career growth. Most talked about roles and responsibilities. More money? Sure, why not? When my turn came, my answer astounded others. I wanted to work with people I respected and got along with. Period. For me, my work life is people, period. It is about making relationships. A bad relationship can make you feel alone and desolate at work and conversely, can be a magnet that brings you to work with imaginary springs under your heels.

In my opinion, realistic goals and cautious autonomy yields best results. But let us say, we land a job with great people, good money, manageable workload, great work-life balance, would we be stress-free as a floating leaf in a gentle breeze?

My heart stops short in saying no. Because stress also comes from your heart and your reaction to circumstances. Some people can operate in stress and continue to spend time with their families and shrug it off. Some toss into the night.

Managing stress is a direct consequence of your attitude. And I will leave you with a quote I remember vaguely from my ancient history…

You cannot change the world around you but you can change your attitude and when you change your attitude, you will find you have changed your world.

No matter the country, or the nook or corner of this dispersed world we live in, no matter how diverse and unlike one another, there seem to be an invisible thread that ties people of India together in habits that survive generation after generation. Here is a made-to-smile list of 10 traits that binds Indians in harmony with each other.

We do not say no

Especially when it comes to committing to time, we always say yes. Forget about expecting to hear things just the way they are from an Indian. It is not in our nature to say no, even when no it is from far, far away, we are people pleasers at heart. We prefer to hush down our grievances quietly. We are the keepers of the hearts, the masterminds behind the power of efforts to make time no matter how difficult the time commitment is.

But we are late a lot

In our lives magically things go wrong as soon as we commit to a time. Children take longer naps, traffic piles up on road, phone rings, and anything else that can go wrong, goes wrong. These mishaps have been happening to us for so long that we are expected to be late. If miraculously we reach Indian events on time, the hosts too are not ready. So, we embrace our fate and never question it. We feel lucky in the middle of chaos. We do not try to inform of our tardiness, we expect that people expect it.

We eat dinner late

We laugh at westerners who eat at 6, our tea and snack time. We are hardworking people who work late into the evening. We enjoy our dinner at 9, even 10 at night.

We sleep late

So what we eat dinner late. We also sleep late. We party till late.

We start our day late

We reach work after broad day light. Our need to party at night compels for a morning that is laid back. We get hung over without an ounce of liquor. We are fun loving chilling type.

Our no gesture is same as yes

Ever ask an Indian a question and received the classic nod of the head from side to side and a “Uh-huh”? Then you have experienced another classic Indian trait. Our yes and no sound alike. We expect you to understand and read our minds as we do for each other. Ah that “uh-oh” is a yes, and that other one is a no.

We don’t fancy system

We have befriended chaos. We are familiar with lack of system. System to us is mechanical machine-like order that stresses our otherwise carefree heart. We cannot withstand so much order, a little mishap we love. It keeps our feet grounded and our hearts humble.

We are social fund raisers

Turning normal get together into kitty parties, we collect money to organize more fun, and gifts. We love to exchange gifts like no other community in the world. A friend of a relative of a friend, got engaged? Hooray! Time to collect funds for the next gift card. Friend of a friend moving out of town? Time for a farewell, and a farewell gift, here comes the fund collecting basket.

We love the dance and music and loud colors

It is no wonder Indian movies involve dancing in all corners of the world be it mountain side of Switzerland or deep blue lakes of ladakh, we know how to party with loud music, songs, dancing, and colorful clothes.

We treat our guests like Gods

Only expect an Indian to give up their master bedroom for their guests. Hospitality comes naturally to most of us.

Stereotypes have a quality to them. Some of us may have broken these light hearted stereotypes but there just are a few idiosyncrasies that are Indian forever. So next time an Indian says yes and is hours late, shrug it off and smile.

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